Abusers want you to believe they have big hearts, if you dig down far enough, as you’re repeatedly told and encouraged to believe, by them and those under their influence and control.  Still can’t find their hearts?  The problem, you see, is that “you’re” not digging enough, you with that small heart…If only your heart was bigger, more compassionate and forgiving, you would be digging even more and could clearly see their big hearts…so that you can be vulnerable to more abuse…See how this process works?  This tactic is part of gaslighting, a term used to describe a process abusers use to make you doubt yourself (never them).

The people with the actual big hearts don’t need for you to dig to find their hearts. They are clearly evident through their words and behavior. You can feel these loving hearts when you are around them.  You feel loved, respected and regarded. You will not feel that around the personality disordered or other Cluster B individuals.  You will be forced to melt into their audience, where you can bask in their glory, if approved and privileged enough to do so.

Healthy people don’t make others talk to you about their big hearts, after abusing you, as dysfunctional people do.  Healthy people don’t abuse you at any level to begin with.  Why would they need to?  They’re healthy and fine with you being healthy too. You feel comfortable around them, a better version of you, not diminished.  Healthy people don’t need for you to feel worse about yourself so they can feel better about themselves.  They’re not jealous or threatened by your confidence, success, peace, and happiness as narcissists are.  They have plenty of their own.