Finding Purpose - Pria's Ponderings

Soulitude

Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose, Outlook, Personal Growth, Simplicity, Spirituality, Thoughts Comments Off

Nov 252016

I long for soulitude,

to rest, breathe…
calm my mind, body and soul.

I seek soulitude,
to fully hear silence,
to see details
I never noticed.

Soulitude allows me to feel
expanded, enriched and newer,
a renewed version
I’ve never felt before.

With soulitude, I hear
like I’ve never heard before.

I hear and feel
every chord, every note
of every song…

I hear music that
gives me goosebumps…
and compels my spirit
to sing…

Soulitude increases and enhances
my vision,
to fully see
all that I did not,
could not, would not,
see…

I want to see
every hue of
every color
and every combination…
a kaleidoscope
of shifting,
evolving colors…

My spirit has been starved…
and hungers for healing

that begins with
being fed by
quiet, gentle,
soulitude.

Encouragement from Raleigh to Aurora

Attitude, Causes, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose, Gratitude, Musing on Death, Philosophy Comments Off

Aug 082012

As an employee of the city of Aurora in CO, my husband has come across lots of words of sympathy and encouragement from around the world. Following is an encouraging letter from the city of Raleigh to the city of Aurora following the recent shooting.

Subject: Words of Encouragement from Raleigh, NC

Yesterday afternoon I attended a matinee viewing of The Dark Knight Rises, the final movie in the Batman trilogy; the unfortunate setting for the tragic act of violence during the movie’s midnight premier in your city, Aurora, Colorado. I, like so many others, have been following the unfolding of the theatre shooting and have felt a pull of singularity similar to the immediate reaction of patriotism that followed in the wake of 9/11. Sharing in the horror and impact of the intent and actions of one man I became immediately aware of my own fleeting life upon entering my local theatre. As the previews began my eyes searched for the emergency exits, and I took particular notice of every person who entered the room (all ten of them at that early time of day). During the first few minutes of the movie a rattling of gunfire on the screen made me alert and agitated, echoing the tragic testimonies shared of an audience who quickly diverted their attention from fantasy to reality in an effort to save and protect loved ones and themselves. I thought to myself, should I have come? But as the plot continued I became enraptured by the villainous mind of Bain, the sheer hopelessness of Gotham City, and the contemplative genius of Bob Kane on the relationship between good and evil in our worlds: fiction and reality alike. As the credits rolled up from the bottom of the screen at the conclusion of the movie, I sat recovering from being emotionally invested in the outcome of the plot and reflecting upon the men and women who are struggling to find solace and understanding in the aftermath of the Aurora tragedy. The truth is the movie made me think only of Aurora. The character Bruce Wayne repeatedly remarks on his identity being only a suit that anyone can wear. In an epic moment of dialogue during the plot the audience is reminded that a hero can be found in a single moment, “A hero can be anyone, even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a young boy’s shoulders to let him know the world hasn’t ended (Bruce Wayne as Batman).” Although it is tempting to idolize the fictional Batman as the ultimate hero, there is a resounding distinction between the heroes of fiction and the heroes of our reality. The men, women and children who are picking up the aftermath of the Aurora tragedy are the heroes of our present day. Aurora has a nation of support surrounding them, cheering “rise!” as we watch a community climb out of the darkness of such tragedy. Aurora, I stand with a nation that is shouting cheers full of hope for you, that this tragedy will make you stronger as you search for answers, struggle with prayers, and learn the art of survival that follows great loss. Jonathan Blunk, Alexander Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt MacQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, and Rebecca Wingo are names engraved on my heart.

I could not help but to think of Aurora and the victims of that horrible night, and know that an entire nation is doing the same, as these words are echoed in theatres across the world, “I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss. I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy. I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. It is a far, far better thing that I do, that I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.” Aurora, this is a moment for heroes, and we are all looking at you: a beautiful city, a brilliant people, a community that will rise from this abyss.

Sincerely,

Raleigh, NC.

A Friend’s Trip to Elephant Nature Park – Part 2

Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose, Giving, Personal Growth, Spirituality Comments Off

Oct 082010

“My first trip to ENP was in November 2009, for a week. There were about 30 volunteers and we were divided up into groups of two teams. The volunteers essentially help with the overall upkeep of the sanctuary and support of the elephants.

The first day, my team and I were the “POO CREW”. While the elephants are on their daily walks, we go into their

Nasiya and her friend Marleen (two of the members of the "Poo Crew") collecting elephant dung so one day the fibers can be made into Elephant Dung paper products.

carrals and clean up their elephant dung and urine. Now, before you scrunch up your nose and dismiss all possibilities of ever volunteering with ENP, let me tell you: it’s NOT that bad! Since the elephants have a vegetarian diet, their dung is really not pungent (if anything, the urine is a bit smelly, but it’s not that wi

despread through their carral). We scoop the dung up and then transport it to a reserve so it can be used to create beautiful elephant dung paper. Another way to make money for the sanctuary!

"Cutting grass for the elephants' afternoon munch-time"

Other jobs we did as volunteers that week included washing the elephants’ fruits/vegetables and preparing their food baskets, cutting corn and grass for the elephants, bathing the elephants, feeding them, repairing/maintaining certain areas of the park, planting/watering trees (since it was the dry season), etc. The work was never extremely difficult or strenuous.

"Feeding baskets being carried by volunteers. Each elephant has a certain amount of food that they need everyday."

We received plenty of breaks and our volunteer coordinators made sure that we were well hydrated during the day. It was the best volunteering experience, as I’ve been on volunteer trips where I’ve stood around a lot, waiting for things to do. It wasn’t like that at ENP. There was plenty of work, but it was enjoyable.

As far as accommodations, we stayed in these simple but lovely bungalows. The bathrooms are with a western shower and toilet and cleaned every day. I received my own room and the best part was that my room was right next to the carrals where the two babies, Faa Mai and Chang Yim lived. Every morning, before breakfast, I would visit with the adorable little rascals and every afternoon before I went to my room to wash up, I would visit again while Lek sung the babies a lullaby and put them to sleep. It’s one of the most beautiful things you could witness.

The food? THE FOOD. It is INCREDIBLE!! I don’t think I’ve eaten this well…ever! I usually end up gaining a few pounds after visiting ENP, despite the work I do during the day. We pile our plates with so many items, it’s heavenly. Plus, being a vegetarian, it was perfect for me, as most of the dishes were free of animal products. Even carnivores are very happy after eating at ENP!!

Not only is ENP home to rescued elephants, but there are also rescued dogs, cats, buffalo, cows and other animals! Lek encourages the rescue of any animal, and condemns any form of animal tourism/entertainment. In addition to that, Lek provides work for the local villagers by employing them at the sanctuary. There are even ladies who come after dinner and provide Thai foot and full body massages, starting at only 350 Thai Bhat!

No wonder this is one of my favorite places on the planet.”

A Friend’s Memorable Volunteer Trip – Part 1 of 3

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Oct 042010

"A lovely early morning walk with the elephants and their mahouts"

A friend that I met through the local vegetarian meet-up, Nasiya Amoroso, has impressed me with her volunteer efforts, along with those of her husband’s. This past Spring, she told me about a trip she was going to embark on to an elephant sanctuary that sounded particularly enticing. Then I thought about my family responsibilities and decided I will go when my toddler is older. I asked her to allow me and others to experience it vicariously at least, by sharing her experience on my blog. Following is her description of her trip, in her own words, in three parts. Stay tuned the next few days for the remaining parts.

Part 1

“I try to take a volunteer vacation every year and I usually try to experience a different volunteer location every time. So, I couldn’t understand why my husband chose to return to Zambia every year to build houses. I understand about commitment and wanting to establish roots in one location so you can see progress (which is what lead him to create www.zambiabuild.org), but I always felt the urge to try something new every year.

That is, until I discovered Elephant Nature Park outside Chiang Mai, Thailand: www.elephantnaturepark.org

I’m an animal advocate, but surprisingly have never been on a volunteer trip that directly affects animals. But my experience at the Elephant Nature Park (ENP) was absolutely surreal and each time it leaves me with the wheels turning, making plans for the “next time”.

Elephant trekking, circus shows, elephant street begging, elephant painting, and other forms of elephant tourism may seem harmless and make the elephants look “happy” doing what they do. But, there’s nothing “happy” about their situation. Most of these elephants go through the Thai pajaan technique (look it up online) or other forms of torture in order to make them submissive. If you see an elephant holding a paintbrush about to create a beautiful work of art, or riding a bicycle…THINK about what they might have gone through before performing that task.

The goal of ENP is to provide a safe haven for abused and/or neglected elephants so they can live a life as close to their natural habitat as possible. Lek, the founder, has rescued over 30 elephants with extremely heartbreaking stories. It’s hard to come here and not shed any tears. The history of the rescued elephants are heartbreaking. But the good thing is the tears you shed may also be tears of relief, as these majestic creatures are finally living a life they deserve to live.

ENP not only takes volunteers for days, weeks or months, but it’s also a revolutionary way to support ethical eco-tourism, as day visitors are also welcome. You get to support the park and the rescue of these poor elephants through your volunteer dollars or park entrance fee. But, you are not supporting the exploitation or abuse of these elephants since they are not in chains, nor confined and no bull-hooks are used. The elephants live their lives naturally, and you still get interaction with the elephants (you even have the opportunity to bathe them!). Each elephant has a full-time mahout, so I never felt unsafe around any of the elephants.”

The Story of Mae Do

"Mae Do, one of the saddest stories before her rescue from ENP"

Honoring our 40th Earth Day

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Apr 222010

Today is the 40th anniversary of Earth Day and it’s a great day to reflect on ways we can be more environmentally-conscious. Being conscious of my actions on the environment is a daily part of my life. Ways that I maintain this consciousness on a regular basis include recycling and being a vegetarian.

I have been a vegetarian my entire life. My diet and lifestyle began as a result of being from a vegetarian Indian family. I’m glad I was raised that way as it seems much easier to just remain in the lifestyle rather than switching. I chose to give my kids that gift by raising them vegetarian.

As a teenager, I researched vegetarianism and decided the lifestyle made sense to me at numerous levels, including environmental. I was interviewed by the Vegetarian Times regarding my thoughts and beliefs. I chose vegetarianism as my topic for Original Oratory in debate class competitions in high school. I memorized the speech overnight and competed the next day with veterans. I ended up being a quarter-finalist in the state of NC. Judges told me that the speech opened their eyes and they would consider the diet. I think the part of my speech that stood out the most for them was regarding the composition of hot dogs.

As an adult, I’m devoted to recycling. My husband might call me somewhat of a hoarder at times because I don’t like to waste anything. I was the first in my neighborhood to request an extra green bin from my town to hold my recycling and had my second regular black bin picked up (never need it). In my family, we are trained to evaluate every piece of trash and determine if it goes into our recycling bin or regular trash bin. This includes my preteen son.

I rarely use paper towels, preferring dish cloths for wiping up spills. We regularly use cloth napkins at meals. We use energy-efficient bulbs throughout the house along with any appliance purchases. Left-over food is stored for future meals or given to our dogs. Dogs can help a lot with recycling and preventing waste. We make sure our dishwasher and washing machine is completely full before running it. I remind my husband at least a few times a week to stop idling when I’m in the car with him.

We also compost. We have a compost bin in our yard and are trying to perfect the art and science of composting. Next to our trash and recycling containers in my kitchen pantry, we also have a compost container. In there we put our vegetable scraps and anything else that can be composted, like dryer lint. My husband and I debate somewhat the ingredients that will result in perfect compost. It is a shared interest and goes perfectly with my gardening interest. I like that not only am I not wasting and creating more junk for landfills, but helping my yard and garden out at the same time.

At my boutique, I offer environmentally-conscious fabric gift bags. They are reusable, affordable, and save trees by replacing paper.

Fabric gift bags at Komal Style Boutique

What are ways that you honor the Earth in your life?

Suicide Prevention

Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose Comments Off

Mar 162010

I would like to start featuring individuals that I feel are doing work that is particularly meaningful. The topic of suicide prevention is a difficult one for many to think about and discuss. Yet suicide has affected the lives of many.

I first was exposed to the issue as a teen when working for a counseling hot-line that began accepting suicide calls. Speaking with individuals in such a challenging state was profound. I myself struggled with the issue in my former marriage. I could relate to the concept of losing one’s perspective when in a dysfunctional circumstance. I have also lost an uncle and a cousin by suicide, possibly related to bipolar disorder.

A friend I met at my son’s baby playgroup in 1998 and now also attending my Unitarian church, Sally Spencer-Thomas, shares her work on suicide prevention.

“On December 7, 2004, my younger brother Carson died by suicide after a difficult struggle with bipolar disorder, and my life was forever changed. I had been a psychologist and counselor for over a decade, and I knew a lot of things about mental health, but after this experience my soul has shifted. I have dedicated my life to both celebrating my brother’s amazing entrepreneurial spirit and preventing what happened to him from happening to others.

In the Spring of 2005 our family and Carson’s friends established a nonprofit called, The Carson J Spencer Foundation . We envision a world where leaders and communities are dedicated to sustaining a passion for life. We sustain a passion for life through suicide prevention, social enterprise and support for emerging leaders. In our work with suicide prevention we have established ourselves as the first organization in the U.S. to develop a program that is exclusively dedicated to helping workplaces develop a comprehensive suicide prevention initiative called Working Minds. It’s a little known fact that the majority of people who die by suicide are men of working age, so we have found some innovative ways to reach out. We also know that we need to start younger, so I speak professionally on college campuses around the country and promoting our message that “People Prevent Suicide.”

One of our other successes has been to partner with Junior Achievement to teach high school business students about the art of social enterprise. Student groups from around Colorado develop business plans and compete for seed money, but unlike the usual business plan competition, ours has a unique challenge. These students must develop a product or service that raises both money and awareness for suicide prevention. They first conduct a needs assessment by surveying their classmates and learning about resources, and then they develop a plan that addresses some root cause of the problem. We also award one Junior Achievement student each year with a “Rising Star” scholarship to help him or her get to college.

Finally, we support families bereaved by suicide. When a loved one dies from suicide, families often find they are traumatized, isolated and filled with haunting questions. We send iCare packages through The Gifts of Hope to these families — offering resources such as books, music and tip sheets and referrals to support groups. Working in these areas has been tremendously fulfilling for me, and I feel that Carson is with me, giving me support along the way.”

A New Year, a New Beginning

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Jan 102010

“Each year gives us new reasons to celebrate, new journeys to begin.”-unknown

This lovely saying is from the front of a card I keep on the board above my workspace, where it is always visible. It is also a very relevant saying as we begin the new year. I have refrained from making any formal resolutions. Instead, I try to be vigilant about any areas for improvement as they come up and take note to address.

January is International Life Balance Month (or quality of life month). It’s a great time to reflect on your life and think about the areas you want to see progress on. Maybe this will be the month and year that you do something about your passions. Maybe there is even a way to turn a passion into a side venture that can turn into something full-time. A recession can be viewed as an opportunity to really be doing something you want to be doing or at least make a start. I feel passionate about writing and being an entrepreneur. This year, I would like to go further with that interest.

What is holding you back? What can be done to get out of a rut if you find yourself in one? I have another quote on my board in front of me: “you will never really change your life until you change something you do daily.” This is very true and we have to aspire to trying to make any change, as minor as it may seem, EVERYDAY. Think about this everyday and be conscious of it.

Another quote I have on my desk, that I have had for many years, is by Henry David Thoreau on goals: “If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavors to lead a life they have imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

I wish you all new journeys to begin and new reasons to celebrate. Happy new year!

Authenticity

Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose Comments Off

Oct 142009

CA beach, kite “We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”
-Barbara de Angelis

Authenticity is such a powerful word. It is defined as “the quality or condition of being authentic, trustworthy, or genuine.” The word and quote above resonate for me and are guiding principles for how I want to continue living.

The concept first started to consciously become a part of my life probably in my 10th grade psychology class while we were studying Abraham Maslow and his “hierarchy of needs.” The needs are labeled in a pyramid. The bottom, most important need is physiological. This includes breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis (our body being stable), and excretion.

The next layer on the pyramid (and the 2nd most important need) refers to the need for Safety. This includes security of: body, employment, resources, morality, the family, health, and property.

The third layer of the pyramid refers to love and belonging. This layer includes friendship, family, and sexual intimacy. The fourth layer is about esteem: self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of others, and respect by others.

The final and fifth layer of the pyramid refers to self-actualization. This includes morality, creativity, spontaneity, problem-solving, lack of prejudice, and acceptance of facts.

I feel the 4th and 5th levels are very intertwined with the concept of authenticity. It seems challenging to try to reach these levels and be comfortable residing there without trying to be true to ourselves.

Being authentic or true to ourselves is not always easy or the instinctual first course of action. Sometimes it requires us to pause and reflect on what the authentic course of action for us would be. That means we have to try to be responsive rather than reactive. Being responsive takes into account all that we believe in and the response is reflective of that. Being reactive usually means we are reacting back in kind, almost mirroring the event or person.

Being authentic may not make us the most popular person. Many times, it means the opposite. Sometimes the roles that exist in our lives encourage the lack of authenticity. In some family dynamics, individuals may grow up with assigned roles that fail to evolve. These may serve some fine, others not so well. Maybe someone was assigned the role of not being smart or able to achieve goals. This role may make another member feel better about themselves and perhaps resist the other member’s attempt to break out of their inferior role through subtle or not so subtle put-downs or lack of support.

Part of growing up and trying to reach the top of the pyramid of self-actualization is to recognize what roles if any are hindering us and whether they only serve others, in not growing up perhaps. In such cases, breaking out of these roles can help both parties in the long run, toward reaching that tip of the pyramid!

Although being authentic is not always an easy choice, it is the only choice when considering a life of any meaning and purpose.